I got knocked down but I got up again!
Today marks 12 weeks since my ankle surgery a good time to evaluate.
I started dryland training in the gym a couple of weeks ago and I feel I’m getting stronger and fitter. I just got back from another good session! I’m not yet where I left off but I’m getting there, so when my ankle is ready to ski I am.
Today I was in the hospital for my lectures and I run in to my neurologist and he recognized me which is special because I wasn’t in a patient setting, more in a student setting and I only saw him once as a patient. Anyways he saw my leg and asked about it. So I told him the ‘kind of cool’ story, and he said but we determined your sense of pain is normal, you are a tough girl or should we retest?
I wasn’t in that much pain (for most of the time, see previous post) when it was broken but I was in a lot of pain the first weeks post surgery, so probably no retest necessary I just need to learn to listen to my body.
Although I think I had to much pain after surgery (I got pretty worried about that) my surgeon said it was normal and he was the one giving me the pain killers. So he knew how much I took and in how much pain I was. I’m completely drug free for a couple of weeks now, except for the DVT injections, but they will be done soon!
The neurologist told me that it was good for a doctor to know what it’s like to be a patient. And I couldn’t agree more, but I’m done!
Because even when you know everything, being a patient is still pretty scary, and there is something as knowing too much.
Today 12 weeks ago I had surgery, I think surgery is one of the most scary things for a patient, it’s not that I was scared to die or anything, off course not. But more scared of the fact that the first moments after waking up are pretty bad and there’s nothing you can do yourself to make yourself more comfortable.
When I woke up 12 weeks ago, at first I didn’t knew where I was, I just felt this excruciating pain, I had trouble breathing and I couldn’t move. So pretty scary, he. Within in seconds probably, felt much longer, nurses where there to help me, my heart was racing because of the pain and my blood oxygen level was too low. I got some pretty sweet narcotics, helped big time, was sleepy and stoned the rest of the day, amazing. I also got some extra oxygen and they helped me in a better position in my bed. So they got my comfortable pretty quick, but those first seconds to minutes (takes time for drugs to work) are scary and the only way to know how bad it is is to have been through it.
The first weeks after surgery my body was working hard on my recovery, I got a (as it turned out meaningless) fever, was in pain and slept a lot. But I also got back in school within two weeks and passed my tests. I was determined to spend my time being injured useful so I decided I would do good in school not just passing my test but really know all there was to know. I did that with trauma, finished that test best of my class! Still think I would be a good trauma surgeon, maybe I can compensate my limp with my skills?
After trauma the more boring classes started so I went back to just trying to pass, got a 7 (out of 10) in my last one though. Yes I’ve been a model student with all my extra time ;-)
After six weeks I was allowed to walk, with a walker a special boot that was supposed to immobilize my ankle just as well as a cast, but it didn’t.
The screw in my tibia (Tillaux fracture) moved a bit, it was very painful and dangerous because the screw could break out of the bone, so I was casted again, setback.
The first international ski race in the Netherlands came and went without me competing, I was very disappointed and sad about that. Also about missing the training camp with the team in October. But I got my international classification so I can race when my ankle is healed!
Now I’m counting down the last days till I’m freed of my cast! Just 3 more nights, 3 more DVT injections, 3 more showers with my leaking cast protecting shower bag. I’ve had that bag since I had a full leg cast 3 years ago, when my kneecap dislocated all the time because there was no support of my muscles.
Don’t know when I can ski again, but I will be ready when that time comes! I need to take it easy because I really don’t want to reinjure myself!
What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger!
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