Race @ Landgraaf

I woke up at 5.50 am yesterday to go and see the IPCAS race at snowworld Landgraaf. I was In the car by 6.25 am, and in a traffic jam at 6.30 am, which is crazy I think, I mean seriously 6.30 am! Well I only had to be at this highway for a kilometer or so and the rest of the drive over went pretty smooth.

I was at Landgraaf at 8.45 and the first run started at 9.00, good timing.

Because it’s an indoor race there were 3 runs over 2 courses, the last 2 runs over the same course.

I was able to put my skipants over my jeans and put on a lot more clothes, that way I managed to stay warm.

Anna second run

In the women standing category Anna Jochemsen from the Netherlands won, second was a Spanish girl and third a girl from Suisse. And in the men standing category Bart Verbruggen from the Netherlands won. So it was a good day for the team.

I had a good day and enjoyed myself, I spoke with a lot of people. Although I still felt pretty disappointed every now and  then. After the race we had lunch and after that was a clinic with the talent group.

The talent group with the trainers

and Anna and Kees Jan from the national team

I'm not in this picture because I decided to stay inside

After diner I went home and in the car I started crying, I felt disappointed and frustrated so I called my mom and it helped. I stopped thinking what could have been and started thinking what can be. And the good thing is I’ve a confirmed para-ski status now so nothing will stop me from racing when my ankle is healed.

At home I found a sweet surprise my weblog had have over 400 views that day, which is incredibly high, I usually have around 30-50 views my high score till then was 90 a day.

I've hardly slept last night, don’t know why, probably because of over thinking and my ankle was hurting again. I accidently dropped my foot yesterday, it hit the ground pretty hard since there are no muscles to compensate or slow the fall. I was standing on my good leg whit my crutch supporting my right leg, when I tried to remove the crutch my leg slid out of my hand and fell. When I walk with crutches I drag my leg since I can’t lift it, that’s why I use the wheelchair, but through the snow this was better. I saw a lot of people who were like expert crutch walkers, but they have one leg so they don’t have to lift the injured one which I think is definitely the hardest part. 

Classification

I went to Landgraaf to get my international classification yesterday and I got class LW4, which isn’t  a surprise I got LW4 in my national classification as well. Now I can race international races!

Class LW4 is a standing category in which athletes have a functional impairment in one leg, with a total of 30 points or less in strength testing the impaired leg (normal 40). Like with below the knee amputation or in my case irreversible muscle weakness in one leg. They ski with 2 skis and poles and prosthesis or in my case orthosis.

The whole process took less than 10 minutes, and I drove 500 km for that (250 one way)!

I came in the room introduced myself to everyone which took 5 of the 10 minutes there were a lot of people. I told my story (short version) of what happened with my leg. After that came the actual testing there were two classifiers testing my leg an American guy and a Spanish woman, both head classifiers I guess.

They tested the strength in my knee and hip, they couldn’t test the strength in my ankle because of the cast but as it turned out it wasn’t necessary. The American said I can test you in lot more positions but it’s pretty clear to me; your leg is very weak, ok, thanks I guess.  I already lost way more than 10 points in my hip and knee so testing the ankle wasn’t necessary. It was clear enough and I don’t have to get retested when my ankle is healed.

They would have wanted to see me walk, more out of curiosity they said, but unfortunately I couldn’t show that. It’s not a strange question considering the weak leg I walk with my orthosis with a locked knee in extension and since my hip is too weak to swing my leg forward I have to walk out of my pelvis and I use my abdominal muscles, and sort swing forward with my pelvis.

I told them about the orthosis with the gas spring I’m planning to use for skiing, they said it was fine whatever I wanted to use there are no regulations for that.

In that case….. But now I think of it there really isn’t anything better. I’ve tried an orthosis with an electric knee lock which allows the leg to bend while walking but my leg was to weak for that, there was no way I would be able to extend the knee again and it ends with me falling down. So a robot leg isn’t going to make me ski faster as well.

 After the testing I had lunch with my teammates, which was really nice.

I asked how many racers would be in the races Thursday and Friday and the answer was 70 but it should be 71! Yes I would have liked that to!

One of them said why don’t you race in a mono ski? Which was more like a joke but it was nice to hear anyways. Well we had some fun but they had to rest after the morning training so it didn’t lasted too long.

While riding there with my wheelchair a lot of people asked me if I was going to compete because sitting in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you can’t race, well in my case it pretty much does.

It’s great that no one looks at your disability but more at your capability, accept when you go for classification.

I don’t consider myself disabled or none of the people over there for that matter, your are disabled when you have to control your electric wheelchair with your chin, or even more when you feel like you are.

I like the line in the classification manual better, functional impairment. All though the disabled parking card is great.

It was kind of strange leaving for home, I’ve only spend 90 minutes there, and leaving everyone behind when I really would have wanted to have the need to stay. Luckily I had a birthday party of two friends at home.

I got some new stuff, poles, gloves, back protector.

The new stuff and the fact that the pain is now almost gone makes me want to ski even more, I just can’t wait.

But everyone keeps on saying that I should be patient that they don’t allow me to come back until I’m healed properly. Which is for the best I know.

The coach asked if I was taking enough rest and I told him that the first 6 weeks accept for my classes and my daily exercises I spend most of the day in bed with my foot high up on a lot of pillows and he was pleased with that, never expected that. But it’s the best way to heal fractures like these, more rest than you can handle.

For me it’s more then I can handle anyway, lazy people would love this I guess.

Friday again 500km in the car to watch the final race day and I’m starting to look forward to that.

Regaining strength

So I started dryland training again, not just at my physio but also at my gym at home.

The first time I was back at the gym everybody came to me to say hi and asked where I’ve been, they missed me I've never expected that.

It’s great to be back in training and not just take it by the day to see what I can do but back on a real schedule. It’s still a small schedule it takes me a little over an hour to complete it but it’s a real start!

And I feel stronger allready, the pain got better as well over the last few days.

Yesterday I went to Snowworld Zoetermeer to watch the adaptive ski racing talent group train, this group started last season and I started skiing there last season. It’s a very mixed group with kids and adults. Some of those kids made a big improvement over the last couple of months! And there are some new kids skiing very good as well, all the new ones are kids in a mono ski, sit ski. And two boys are doing very well! I lasted for an hour sitting in my wheelchair, after that I just got to cold and needed to go inside to get warm again. I had so many clothes on I was like a wheelchair Eskimo. So I’m winter proof now.

The wheelchair on the other hand certainly isn’t, there just no way to ride it through the snow, I probably need another set of wheels with mountain bike tires for that, but that's to big of an investment so I just hope that there will be no snow until I can walk again.

Since I'm pretty good with breaking stuff lately I broke the leg support of my wheelchair. It's fixed again.

Last Sunday I went with my sister to an ice hockey game to watch her boyfriend play. I thought it would be really cool but they are in the student league and there are a lot of beginners playing so they were not allowed to go to hard on each other. Which made it a lot less cool than I expected, but the sight at some cute boys made it a good night anyway.

To make the sister bonding complete we also went to the movies this week. To Harry Potter and the deathly hollows part one. This movie had some sweet special effects and enough humor. This part of the story on the other hand is a bit dark, but they made a great movie out of it.

I’ve read the book so I know how it’s going to end…

Monday I had a lecture about my last test, the professor explains the questions and the answers in the test. This one was kind of interesting, the prof didn’t seem to see the need for a lecture like this, what about learning from your mistakes? Well he probably never made any or something like that.

There was one question that was answered incorrect by all the students, he told us that that was because we never discussed this subject and we couldn’t have known. Then why ask? Well because he wanted to see if we knew… epic fail. But learning all the answers and remembering my own, I think I might have passed the test. 
All though I had surgery at the beginning of this semester I haven’t missed a test yet, I think this is a big achievement my parents seem to disagree.

After surgery and a multiple day hospital stay I felt like hell and I needed a lot of rest but I made it back to class within two weeks, there are not that many people who can say that. Even my doctor wasn’t sure if I would be able to do that, but I did and not only that I got a 9 in my first test back!

Today I had physio, my physio was very happy with my improvement and the fact that the pain is getting better and so am I. We are building back! Finally. We talked about getting back to snow, but there is no real prognosis to make until I’m out of the cast and we know if the fractures are healed. There still is a chance I will race this season! I can do that because I don’t have that much muscles in my leg so there is no long muscle strength recovery necessary when I’m out of the cast. It will be pretty much functional recovering which includes skiing. If it’s any other person than it wouldn’t be possible, my luck I guess.

The cast countdown is down to 3 weeks and 5 days. And it’s the same as my birthday countdown, losing my cast will be a great birthday present!

After physio I went to visit a friend, Monique, from the cycling team, she had her birthday yesterday.

And she is regaining the function to walk! She had an incomplete paralysis and with a lot of hard work and luck she is walking again, just short distances for now but it’s awesome. Well we had a great afternoon.

And I had diner with my sorority and class this week, busy week. 

Next week international classification and IPCAS race in Snowworld Landgraaf.

Impatience

Next week is the IPCAS race in Landgraaf and there are 6 ‘Dutchies’ competing (or so I heard), 4 that I know of who are the other 2? 
http://www.nskiv.org/nieuws/home/eerste_internationale_wedstrijd_aangepast_ski%EBn_in_landgraaf 
And that makes me jealous to be quite honest. I was looking forward to this race from the moment I saw it on the calendar, mostly because it would have been the first race and at home so my family and friends could come and watch. Well it probably isn’t good to have this high hopes, the real experience won’t live up to that and this one certainly won’t. Why can they ski and I can’t, yes off course I was stupid enough to break my ankle over summer training. Because if I could ski this race I would have conquered them all, well most likely not but I would have tried and probably get a few. But an unrealistic goal is fun and gives you a push to go for it. Talking about unrealistic goals, I’ve decided to race the Dutch nationals this year. I’ve heard they are planning to put the para division in the race (http://www.nskiv.org/page/3017/) and since it would be the first, how cool would it be to win that first title?! I guess it’s too soon, but I still have a tiny bit of hope. And I’ve a lot more (probably unrealistic) goals like that, that’s just who I am. I’m an optimistic person and I truly believe that if you want something badly enough and you’re willing to put in the work you can reach a lot more of those goals than you or anyone else for that matter expect you to reach.

My real goal for that race was getting the points necessary to qualify for the Europe Cup.  

So about the race I’m going to watch (one of the race days Friday) and that probably will be a little bit of a challenge, because I’m watching and not racing.

I will probably get a little mad at myself and my leg for breaking it, which will put more focus on my leg, which will increase the pain and decrease my comfort both physically and mentally. So I need to bring enough stuff to keep myself comfortable and probably some extra make-up so a little crying in the bathroom is allowed.

Then why go? if it’s that hard on you, you would ask. Well because going trumps not going. If I don’t go I’m going to spend the whole day wondering what do I miss? Who is winning, Who is there? what is it like? and more stuff like that because I always do that.

And I probably will have a lot of fun as well, putting on my happy face and bringing my outgoing, people person character I’m sure I will have a good time! And I’m looking forward to see everyone again, they probably won’t see a difference because my leg was in a pink cast the last time I saw them (September 19) and it’s in a pink cast again! All though it’s the 9^th cast since then, not counting the walker because that isn’t a cast that’s a very bad piece of sssh.. ehm plastic.

I’m writing this at night because I can’t sleep. Some part of that is because my ankle is hurting but mostly because I’m getting damn impatient with this recovery, I just want to ski!

And now I’m going to try to sleep again because I’ve class at 8.30 AM tomorrow.

Testing

I'm in the Leiden University Medical school en we have a test every 3 weeks.
The good part is that every 3 weeks you have a weekend completely off and the test covers only 3 weeks of classes so you don't have to study that long for a test.
That's handy when I'm off training and racing.
But the downside is of course that you have to study real hard for 2 or 3 days every 3 weeks.

Me studying

After a long day my head was spinning, for real!

I had a test las friday about molleculair and cellulair aspects of disease, the test was verry difficult and I'm not sure how I did. That's new to me I usually have a pretty good feeling of how I did.

My ankle got casted again last monday so I'm done walking for a while. All though I hate being back in the cast I know it is for the best and the pain got a bit better so that's great.

The fracture in my tibia, the Tillaux fragment wasn't stable yet and because of that the screw that's holding the fracture in place moved a little bit and that's what caused the pain. I could have broken the screw out of the bone if I didn't had my ankle casted again, that's scary.

So I'm chilling big time in my wheelchair again and since I'm able to ride it pretty fast it's not all bad. Walking still is a lot better.

When you live in a historical city like Leiden you might meet some pavement that certainly isn't made for wheelchair users.

This is just down my street so we meet almost every day.... Well it's a challenge, you probably can imagine that it isn't a great feeling in my broken ankle.

I started doing dryland training again, just a slow start but finally I can do something!

I can start dryland again because I don't have to keep my foot up all the time anymore.

So I'm cycling (one legged), doing core stability, exercises for my upper body and some exercises for my left leg, I can't do one legged squats yet  but that won't be long anymore.

Before I just did core, upper body training while sitting in the wheelchair and handcycling.

Here is a youtube link about a boy who uses the same orthosis for snowboarding as I'm going to use for skiing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhLBGGwwG7g&feature=player_embedded

I've another link about the IPCAS race with some extra and background information (it's in dutch).

http://www.nskiv.org/nieuws/home/eerste_internationale_wedstrijd_aangepast_ski%EBn_in_landgraaf

Setback and IPCAS race snowworld Landgraaf

I went to see my doctor in the AMC today.
Since I got my walker the pain got way worse up to a level where I wasn't able to sleep anymore and that was becomming a problem. I hoped it would get better in a few days but it didn't so I called this morning to see if I could come in today. Luckely they took it seriously, well why wouldn't they I was the one that walked on a fractured ankle for two weeks because it didn't hurt that much, so I could come in right away.
I told the doctor my problem with the pain and the fact that the walker was to big and didn't give any support, the ankle was slightly more swollen and a bit bruised. I was happy to see my surgeon because I just got resident's at all the other check up appointments in the hospital.
Well doctor Kerkhofs agreed that the walker doesn't give enough support, he said we tried it didn't work.
He said that I needed a cast again, since I can't walk without my orthosis I can't walk with the cast.
I'm not to happy about it....

He just didn't want to take any risks because one of the fractures, the Tillaux in the tibia is hard to stabilize even with the screw, that fracture isn't healed properly yet. 

And now I'm back in the cast, I can't walk and I've to take those stupid injections against thrombosis again.

Luckely I just got out of the shower when I got to the hospital and my leg was freshly shaved and washed. Now it can get disturbingly dirty again over the next 5 weeks and 3 days, let the count down start!

The up side is that the pain got a little bit better, it still is there but not as bad anymore.

I think I can have a proper night of sleep again, yeah.

Saturday I had a good physio session, that will be the last ankle physio session for a while (because it's casted again) but my ankle felt great after. That night we (my brother, sister and me) celebrated my dad's birthday, we had diner in a very nice restaurant, loved the food, and we had some nice talks, great night!
My mom came to visit sunday, she is going to India for 10 days to work.

IPCAS race snowworld Landgraaf november 25&26
There is going to be an international para-skirace in snowworld Landgraaf. There will be 2 slalom races, november 25 and 26.
Unfortenately I won't compete in those races because I'm injured.
It's to bad I miss those races because it would be great to have my debut at my 'home hill' but it is what it is.
I will be there for the international classification and to watch and cheer my teammates on.
Classification is necessary to devide the different disability's in to different classes to make it a fair game.

For more information,
http://www.ipc-alpineskiing.org/export/sites/ipc_sports_alpine_skiing/Downloads/2010_11_IPCAS_NED_Invitation.pdf

Walking

Monday I went to the hospital for my six week check up and I'm allowed to walk again!!!!!!
Just short distances with cruthes, but it's a big improvement.
The doctors are hoping that the walking will stimulate the bloodflow in my leg which will make a big difference for the bone recovery.
I was suposed to have a cast for 12 weeks, 6 weeks without walking and a walking cast for 6 weeks, but since I need my orthosis to walk I can't have a walking cast, so they had to think of something else.
I got a walker, which is something like a big brace, its suposed to give the same kind of support as a cast.

The walker and my orthosis

Well the walker has some advantages and some disadvantages.

Advantages;
I can take it off and finally wash and shave my leg again, you can't believe how dirty a foot gets in a cast, really disturbing.
Because I can take it off I can do some exercises with my ankle and start regain some muscles early.
And I'm allowed to stop with the fraxiparine injections, blood thinners, that I had to take against thrombosis.

My tummy was getting bruised because of the daily shot's.

doing some ankle exercises

my scar healed pretty nice

But there are some disadvanteges with the walker as well;

The walker is to big so it really doesn't give that much support, my ankle can almost freely move around in it, and that isn't good.

My fractures still need a lot of support to heal properly.

And because of that it hurts, I know my ankle is still hurting, but it got worse, way worse.

It's so bad that I can't sleep and I need to sleep to recover.

When I've the time to sleep in, I usually can sleep after I take my morning painkillers at 6.30 am.

But when I've boring classes I can't do that and I just drink a lot of coffee.

I'm taking the course molleculair and cellulair aspects of disease and it is BORING, so boring I could die with boredom. Not fun and exciting like trauma.

Maybe I should take more painklillers during the night and less during the day, that way I can guarantee I stay awake during class.

Wednesday I did the legpress at my physio for the first time in 8 weeks and I was still able to push 100kg, one legged, with my good leg, that's pretty good, I did 3 times 20.

And I went to Frank Jol, he is an orthotist and builds my orthosis, I'm getting 2 new ones; one for walking and one for skiing! That's great the skiing one will make a big difference in my skiing, now I ski without any knee function (in my right leg), my right knee is completely still. In the new orthosis there will be a gas spring which will work together with the tension in the ski, it's a bit complicated to explain, but there will be some movement in my knee.

Wednesday it was just mold fitting, my walking orthosis will probably be ready in 2 weeks for the skiing orthosis I have to wait a couple of weeks longer, but that's ok I won't be skiing any time soon.

I was going through some old pictures to make a little book for my grandmother who will be 85 soon and I found this really cute picture with my sister, my grandmother and me, when we where kids (well accept for grandma).

This weekend is my dad's birthday so we are going to have diner at a nice restaurant over here and tonight I've diner with my sorority. Physio tomorow, my mom stops by on sunday, it's going to be a busy weekend.