Yesterday we
arrived in Sestriere after a smooth trip. We left rainy Holland for sunny and
white Italy, nice!
Today was our
first day of skiing, I did some GS free skiing and a few runs in the gates, it
was an awesome day with bluebird conditions. It was good to be on my GS ski’s
again after almost 2 moths and I was able to continue where I left off. Also
today was the European cup slalom. Tomorrow is another European cup slalom and
hopefully I get to forerun the race, fingers crossed. I have a Giant slalom
race on Saturday and slalom on Sunday.
Yesterday I met a
girl she asked me about my orthosis, I was wearing a skirt so it was visible, and
about my leg. She told me she had a similar orthosis for her arm because it's paralyzed, but she didn’t wore it anymore. She told me about her accident and
all the research she did about her disability, it was a nice conversation and I
recognized a lot in her story. She is a swimmer but doesn’t want her upper body
to become more unbalanced then it already is, her right arm is clearly a lot
thinner then the left arm and she is also missing a muscle in her chest. She
doesn’t like it when people notice it and stare at her. My right leg is a lot
thinner then my left leg but that doesn’t bother me much because of the
orthosis it isn’t visible, but I limp and that’s visible. The limping itself
doesn’t bother me because I’m used to it, it doesn’t hurt and isn’t that hard,
it’s just part of my walking, when I’m tired it gets worse. What does bother me
is when people stare, people you can ask me but don’t stare, I can understand
it if children stare. Of course there are moments that I don’t notice or don’t
mind it. Last Friday night I was at a friend’s place in the Hague and when I
walked back to my car I was pretty tired, had a headache and I was limping
pretty bad, it was 1 am, three boys on the street thought it was funny to
comment on my walking, well it wasn’t funny at all! I was tired it was a long
day and sometimes things like that just get to me. What I would like to say is
everybody has their story, some things are visible some things aren’t but
please don’t judge, you don’t know the story.
I
have been fortunate enough to be able to tell my story to all of you via the
blog. So thank you for giving me a chance to share my story with you!It
was not always something I wanted to share but I have found that speaking about
the surgery, the fear of not being able to use my leg and becoming a challenged
athlete has empowered me more than I ever thought!
Part of me thinks that
when I ski, ride my bike or work out in the university gym I am also telling my
story.
On another note I
found a new favorite blog http://canceratemyfoot.wordpress.com/The adventures of a
paratriathlete. This girl writes about her training in a funny and compelling
way. She also is a member of CAF (challenged
athletes foundation) this year she received a grant for a running foot. I also applied
for a grant for 2012, for training and it would be great if I get it. The grant
could really help my skiing but it would be even more great to be a part of
the CAF community, the events are in the USA so I probably won’t be able to go
but I can share their story over here and tell people about the great cause of
CAF. http://www.challengedathletes.org/
What have I been
up to these days, well training, studying, hanging out with friends and family.
December is a party month everything is nicely decorated and I have a lot of
parties. Last year we had a lot of snow this year it’s warmer. I celebrated Sinterklaas
5 times this year so I have enough of (crappy)gifts to last me a year. My
Brother and Sister had their birthdays and mine is Friday.
Sinterklaas at a lecture
skating ring in Leiden
Celebrating Sinterklaas at my place
I’m studying hard
at the moment have 2 big test coming up on December 23 and January 6, it is
going well. And after that I will get back to the snow to race! Great reward.
Since a week I’m
doing my physical training at the university sport centre, to be more precisely
at the so called ‘testosterone corner’ where all the boys hang out, pumping,
that’s where the weights are that I use for my exercises. I was nervous getting
in there for the first time, because they don’t like girls in the testosterone
corner, I did my first squats one guy came to me and said you are strong for a
girl and with that I was accepted in the testosterone corner ;) He actually had
to take some weight off before he did his squats. And I picked up swimming once
a week, it’s nice and a good way to recover and train core a little
differently. Yes the university sport centre, I’m a fan.
Well where to
start. Let’s just say it, I had two races in Landgraaf and I managed to get
disqualified in both races in the second run for missing a gate, impressive,
right?! Yes made the same mistake twice, didn’t learn, blabla…. And cried… twice….
It sucks.
We arrived in
Landgraaf on Monday and trained slalom on Tuesday and Wednesday, I had good
runs during these sessions and especially my last run on Wednesday, everything
felt right (for the moment) so that was a good way to end my last training
before race day.
After skiing we
went cycling in the gym and did some core and stretching and off course we did
our ski’s. It was fun hanging out with the other teams we even watched soccer
the Netherlands against Germany sort of together with the Germans, but the
Netherlands lost 3-0. On Wednesday I put
a lot of work in prepping my ski’s for the race and I was happy with the
results, my ski’s where fast! After dinner I got my bib, 15 and I felt relax and ready to race.
After a good
night of sleep I woke up excited but not nervous, I did the inspection and the
first run looked pretty good. I skied the first run and it was a good run I was
happy with my time, off course there were still things I could do better, but I
was happy. My time was good, I sat in 6th place 0,5 seconds behind
number 5 and 2,5 seconds behind number 1 (the world champion!) my gap with number
7 was 2,5 seconds as well.
After the first
run my mom arrived and a friend, it was great that they came to watch me!
During inspection I noticed the turns in the second run where sharper. In the
first run we didn’t use a start interval and started when the girl before had
finished but because it was a big field and they wanted to speed things up they
used a start interval for the second run, I didn’t know that. In the start the
starter started to count down, but I saw the person in front of me still
skiing, and I lost my focus…. Even so I skied the top part pretty good, I
was attacking more than in the first run, this was a better run. Until I got
pushed back, and in the backseat I got shot out of the slalom, damn. Getting
pushed back is a big problem for me because my orthosis pulls me a bit to the
back and I have weakness in my foot lifter muscles so I can’t pull myself back
to the front that easy.
Well I finished
my mom was there so I cried, like a little girl, which helped I got it all out
and I knew what the problem was.
The rest of
Thursday I spend just chilling and prepping my ski’s for the next race on Friday.
I remember I
wrote on twitter, turns out 15 wasn’t my number. After dinner I got my bib,
yeah 15… There was a little pink tea cup hanging on the wall in the kids corner
and if I finished the next day, Sven, one of the trainers would give it to me as a
reward, finishing would have been a big enough reward but I like the tea cup.
Next day, Friday I finished the first run but the disqualification of the day before got to me a
little bit, so I held back… My time was still pretty good considering it is my
first race, again sitting in 6th place, only the gap to number 5 was
a bit bigger (0,9 second) my gap to number 7 was (2,76 seconds) and the gap to
number one was (2,9 seconds). Second run, inspection I had my doubts about the
gate before last (27) I even walked back to see how the others did that gate, the
rest of the run was fast. I skied and it felt good, I got rid of the feelings I
had during the first run, I was almost in the finish, confident I skied right
but when I was next to gate 27 I realized my mistake…. I cursed and got really
mad with myself. I hadn’t tried to ski that gate because it didn’t look right
at the time, the lines where straight to the finish, it wasn’t clear at all! So
I missed the gate and got disqualified….. again. Just at that moment my dad arrived, too bad he didn't see me race.
me realizing my mistake....
As it turned out
I wasn’t the only one who got disqualified at that gate, in total 8 out of the
11 athletes that got disqualified in the second run got disqualified at gate 27. My roommate Anna got
disqualified at gate 27 as well, she also took the straight line and she called
it a ‘Sven Kramertje’ after the Dutch speed skater who didn’t switch lanes in the 2010 Olympics, he got disqualified while he would have won gold if it hadn’t
happen, I think it’s a good name for what happened.
To top that day
off, I slipped while walking in my ski boots and I fell on my head, hard….
Later that
afternoon we had a little photo shoot for profile pictures and a group
picture, curious how those pictures turned out, posing all dizzy and with a bad
headache.
We also had a ski
session that afternoon but I felt a little foggy in my head so I went inside
after a few runs. After a shower and 2 hours in bed I felt better so I went to dinner
and the party that night. We had cheese fondue and fun with the Suisse team and
2 balloons. I didn’t stay long at the party my head couldn’t deal
with the music, I hang out with a few of the Suisse guys in the hall for a
while and went to bed early. I woke up disappointed and foggy in my head the
next morning but I had a good time anyway. It’s too bad that I got disqualified
in both races because I was skiing good and I would have qualified for the European
cup, which is a goal, but I know it's a reachable goal now. Because I didn’t qualify for
the European Cup my next races are in January and I have December at home, time
to study. My head is getting better, I have a bit of a concussion that’s also why this
blog is this late, but it’s a lot better and getting back to normal.
Yesterday I got
back from my second training camp in Hintertux. I’m in Snowworld Landgraaf now
for the first races of the season on Thursday and Friday. I had another great
camp in Hintertux one day got canceled due to heavy wind, T-bar was closed. We
trained slalom for one day and GS for the other 4 days. Accept for one day we
had amazing conditions, lots of sun and not too cold but a hard slope.
This camp we
trained on the steeper slope, I was able to make progress and I learned a lot,
my GS is getting better, which is good because I still have a lot of work to do
in GS.
On the GS days we
did a few runs of free skiing on super G ski’s, first time on the longboards.
Well it’s all pretty new skiing on Super G ski’s with this leg but I’m getting
used to them, and I like it.
A week flies by so
fast and now I’m back in Landgraaf, we trained slalom today and my slalom did benefit
a lot from last week’s training, just one more day of training before the
races. All the other competitors are in Landgraaf already and it’s a good
atmosphere, meeting a lot of new people from different countries, great. We
have a pretty strong field with even a world champ in my category; women
standing.
So I have been a
bit sick lately my asthma played up pretty bad and I have been waiting for it
to get better for 2 weeks now. I have always thought about my asthma as
something I had and just had to take my meds for but not as an actual disease,
never realized how sick it could make me, off course there had been episodes but
not like this before. I got a prednisone
course and another inhaler, I have 6 now but that’s ok because it works. Things
are getting better and since yesterday I can breathe freely again, as long
as I don’t get to active. So I have been on a rest regime which made me
seriously bored, haha. I have done a few ski training’s and went for a very
easy short bike ride on a low heart rate today. Skiing was good but the bike
ride might have been a tad to soon because I got symptoms again, but it was such a
great day sunny and cold, and that's where meds are for so I’m fine. And I have spend a lot of time with friends which is always nice.
I made a new
video with some of the footage of my coach, there is GS on it as well, like I
said I have a lot of work in GS…
Next weekend I
have an event in Landgraaf, a ski marathon in which teams of 2 skiërs/boarders
will try to ski the distance to Sochi 2646 km in 14 hours during the night, to
raise money for the paralympic skiers on their way to Sochi. It will be a great
event, looking forward to it. https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=220212728035615
I have thought a
while about writing this, but hey it’s a blog which basically means it’s my
public diary and I can write here whatever I think and want out there.
Every now and
then people who know about my leg but don’t exactly know what’s wrong, which I
can’t blame anyone for because it has been unclear for a while, come to me (or my parents) and
they say things like I know this famous orthopedic surgeon, the best of the
best, or why don’t you go to the US to fix your leg or why don’t you get a prosthetic
knee. And I know it all comes from a good place, everyone whishes me the best,
but I’m saying it once and (hopefully) for all; I DON’T NEED FIXING my life
doesn’t suck I am completely happy and I have accepted my leg. I have seen more
than enough (famous) orthopedic surgeons, I know I have tried it all, there is
just nothing to fix. As long as doctor’s don’t know how to grow back muscles,
there is nothing they can do, except for giving me an orthosis. A prosthetic
knee won’t work because it still needs muscles to function, which I lack
because they where to severely damaged. I’m sorry if I have offended anyone by
writing this. It makes me sad when people have pity on me, because it isn’t necessary.
I have two great
ortheses which give me the possibility to walk, jump, ski and run (sort of). I
have an amazing physical therapist who helped me master all those things. I can
ride a bike, drive a car and can’t think of any important things I can’t do,
yeah except for buying shoes which is a problem with my orthosis, but if that’s
all!?
My life is good,
I have amazing friends and family, I’m doing good in med school, which has been
my dream since I was 6 years old and asked for an anatomy book for Christmas,
and off course there is skiing....
@ a Disney themed birthday party of one of my friends, great night.
People can always help me by suporting me to pursue my dream to become a Paralympic ski racer in every way possible and I still need funding for this season, every tiny bit helps.
On November 17
and 18 there is an IPCAS race in Snowworld Landgraaf, last year I wasn’t able
to compete because I broke my ankle, but things are looking good for this year.
It will be my second first race so I don’t exactly know what to expect, I have
done a lot of training over summer and fall and there is still a lot to come so
I’ll be ready, I guess ;-). For more information about the race follow this
link: http://www.ipc-alpineskiing.org/export/sites/ipc_sports_alpine_skiing/Downloads/2010_11_IPCAS_NED_Invitation.pdf
I had a great training camp in Hintertux, we have had some amazing conditions with lots of sun.
It was a giant slalom (GS) camp; 2 days of GS free skiing and 4 days of training in the gates.
This was the first time I actually trained GS since I started skiing again. And I have to learn a LOT feeling isn’t there yet but I’m sure it will come back. With slalom I sometimes have a ‘glimpse’ of what it used to feel like and I have had a lot more slalom training since I started skiing again. That said I did made progress took some good steps still about a million to go but hey it’s all about the process, I love to ski and I like to learn.
line for the gondola in the morning when the doors open these kids start to run, seriously
We skied in the morning until the snow got to soft, usually around noon. In the afternoon we went cycling or did some balance training and one afternoon we just enjoyed the sun.
In the valley it was summer so I got a tan and not just on the lower half of my face.
The last afternoon after skiing we climbed from Lanersbach to Hintertux by bike, the spring of my one legged cycling system broke just before I left for this camp, so my left leg did it all alone it was hard but I was happy that I made it, I knew I could, just had to do it. The downhill was a cool reward after hard work. The week flew by so fast, I had a great time! Now I’m back to business as usual for a month, life is great.
Last weekend I had a race in Snowworld it was a national race and I raced with abled body racers, I also did some of those races in the spring of 2010. The race was ok my first run was good the second run not so much but overall my time improved I'm getting a lot closer to the other racers and I beat people, getting to the middle of the field.
